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A wise man, will often say nothing
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
I fake my LOLs
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers