Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
Iβm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
The well behaved rarely make history.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavierβs school had the power to heal a dudeβs legs.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I donβt make the rules.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.