Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
My house has really let itself go.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.