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Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
I think it`s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don`t have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won`t look weird.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?