Daily Silly Status

I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?

Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.

When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?

Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.

I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.

It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.

My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!

Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.

Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.

“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.

I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.

She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."

I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.

For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`

I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.