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I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
GAL: Would you keep me in your heart forever? BOY: Nop! GAL: (sadly)...why? BOY: Because then you`ll occupy only one part of me...but i`ll keep you in my heart, mind & let you complete me.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?