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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.