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Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.