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Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
Why go out and pretend to like people when you have Netflix?
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.