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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!