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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!