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Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day