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I`ll never have a kid as cool as the one my parents did…
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.