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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.