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It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?