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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.