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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.