Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.