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It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
That moment when you’re talking to yourself and you smile like an idiot, because you’re just so hilarious.
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."