Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
Keep calm and drink on.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.