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I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-