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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
You know you`re an alcoholic when the only Holiday cards that you get are from your neighborhood pubs.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.