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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
You had me at 0 mutual friends