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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
Why do ballerinas always stand in their toes? Why don`t they get taller dancers?
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even Iām not sure if Iām kidding or not.
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
How`d this get posted?