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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.