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the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it`s not, because morning sucks.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.