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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Holy sh!t! I just opened a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles and one of the chips was plain. This is a sign, man. God is going to smite all of us f*ckers with his wrath and send us to all to burn in the eternal flames of... Sorry. Just one side of the chip was plain. Carry on.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "