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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?