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You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
My house has really let itself go.
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.