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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Some people are like water balloons; they`re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then sheΒ΄ll be awake.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Apparently my socks never remember β€œThe Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.