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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them