Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones you don’t even know you have.
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
On demand sucks. Hoarders made me fill up the dumpster and clean the house. Now I want to collect coupons and go to the pawn shop....
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?