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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Check this one out.........1
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.