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The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
Life isn`t a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, chances are you are going to walk home barefoot.
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.