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I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
The police never think its as funny as you do.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Walmart needs observation decks.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks