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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.