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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
is available for rebound sex.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
No, no, no, you don`t have to engage in a long explanation of why you`re single. We`ve spent five minutes together, I think I`ve got it.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.