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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.