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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"