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Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk