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Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes.
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."