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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.