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I was laying down, looking up at the stars while I was writing this post. Then it dawned on me; `Where the heck is the ceiling?`
I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...