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Cannibals don`t drink coffee ... They have a cup of Joe instead.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry