Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of a plane
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you`re hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.