Daily Silly Status

Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.

I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.

once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..

I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!

I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.

Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.

Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.

I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.

What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?

I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver

Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...

Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.

I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed

Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.

I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep