Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
I saw a midget carrying a tv to his car today. I said "hey, would you like some help with that plasma?" He said "f*ck off asshole, it`s an IPad!"
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
High-five a veteran today.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`