Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
My brain has too many tabs open.
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.