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I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
Theirye’re, problem solved.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
Plug your headphones into a banana. Everyone will leave you alone twice as much.
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.