Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
I just awesomed all over the place.
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
Wife really liked the "sex anytime, anywhere" coupon I gave her. Probably should have specified "with me"