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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscarβ¦and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
The worst time to need sneeze is when youβre driving. The worst time to need to pee is when youβre driving and need to sneeze.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
I`ve been eating a lot of extra calories since daylight savings to make up for that hour of eating I missed.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
u cant spell awesome without me
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and thats were I sleep...
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.