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never be afraid to wipe twice
"Check, please!" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
I’m bored enough to clean.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..