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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
The next person I hear say β€œI love fall” is getting choked out with a scarf soaked in pumpkin spice latte.
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
There’s no β€œI” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.