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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
Did you hear about the homeless guy that tried selling me meth?.... Yeah it was Bumcrack.